To effectively change, you have to want to do so. That means nobody, including a couples counselor, can force you to change your unhealthy relationship habits and they especially cannot magically erase your problems. The sad fact is some marriages are already doomed before you even call the couples counselor, and that’s largely because you have no desire to change and dump all blame on your spouse, or the other way around. That doesn’t mean couples counseling is in vain even if you do split up, though. Even when counseling is ineffective to repair your broken relationship, it can help you move on in a positive way.
Couples counseling can be very effective for spouses who want to put in the work. If you think simply booking your appointments and showing up for them is all the work you’ll need to do, you’d be dead wrong. You have to put in the work between sessions, and it won’t be easy. Changing your behavior takes time, patience, and practice. Therapy alone isn’t a magic bullet to defuse the tension in your relationship, and for therapy to be truly effective, both partners need to be willing to examine their behavior and correct it – not just you or your spouse’s effort alone will suffice.
If there’s no love left, you may not be able to fix the relationship through counseling. You can’t rekindle that spark you felt in the early days of dating and being married just because you wish you still felt that way. If you’re no longer happy and you’ve exhausted your options to repair your marriage, it’s likely in your best interest to divorce your spouse so you can move past the hurt and betrayals you may feel towards them.
Above all, relationships take effort. Couples counseling is effective for many couples, but if one spouse or both are checked out of the marriage, it may just waste time and money. In the end, every couple is different, and it’s important to do what you know in your heart and mind is best for yourself.
Contact Cynthia Tracy, Attorney at Law, P.C.
Cynthia Tracy is a caring and capable family law attorney and can help you build the future you want in the next chapter of your life. With her help, you can put the past in the past and focus on what you need for the present and future.
To contact us our law firm, please dial (281) 612-5443 or reach out online for a quick call back.
